So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
