I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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