We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize