Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
