I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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