Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
