3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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