I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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