Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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