Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
