Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
