Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
