So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
