Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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