So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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