HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
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LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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