what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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