Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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