I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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