That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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