do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
