I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
