some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
