My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
