I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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