If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
