that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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