We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
