homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize