Only a mothe r could love this liver
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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