I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
