It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
