Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
