DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
