That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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