so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
