I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
