I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
