Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
