are you so shy because you have an std?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
