You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
