She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
