wat bout pragnant strippers??
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
