he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
