I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
