Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
