Joe is yelling at the trees again.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
