Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
