Where did you get a picture of my penis
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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