Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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