i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
