We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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