Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sorry my hands just texted you
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
