i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
