there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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