YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
