Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
