Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
