Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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