you would pick up someone in the library
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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