I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We're too hungover to prance.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
