i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This is my gift to your gina
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
