shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
