I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
