I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
