I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
