My room smells like vodka and shame
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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