you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
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I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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