***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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