i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
