So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
